A Poem To A Friend!

Now I lay me down to sleep,

The king-size bed is soft and deep..

I sleep right in the center groove

My human being can hardly move!

I've trapped her legs, she's tucked in tight

And here is where I pass the night

No one disturbs me or dares intrude

Till morning comes and "I want food!"

I sneak up slowly to begin

my nibbles on my human's chin.

She wakes up quickly,

I have sharp teeth-

I'm a puppy, don't you see?

For the morning's here

and it's time to play

I always seem to get my way.

So thank you Lord for giving me

This human person that I see.

The one who hugs and holds me tight

And shares her bed with me at night!

Dear God,

These are just some of the things I must remember

(in order to keep my

present living arrangements):

The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. -

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up

when I'm lying under the

coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge,

behind the sofa or

under the bed.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur

before entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food before

they eat it or after...

they throw it up.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces

of clean carpet in the house

when I am about to get sick.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls,

fish, crabs, etc.,

just because I like

the way they smell.

I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins

and then redeposit them in the

backyard after processing.

I will not chew my humans' toothbrushes

and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens,

especially not the red ones, or my people

will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car,

I will not insist on having the window rolled down

when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. -

I will not bark each time I hear one on

television.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear

and dance all over the back yard with

them.

The sofa is not a face towel;

neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand

when he reaches in for Mom's driver's

license and registration.

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear

when he's on the toilet.

I will not roll around in the dirt

right after getting a bath.

Sticking my nose into someone's crotch

is not an acceptable way of saying

'hello.'

I will not come in from outside

and immediately drag my butt

across the carpet.

The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply,

and just because the

water is blue,

doesn't mean it's cleaner.

I will not sit in the middle of the living room

and lick my crotch when

company is over.

I will remember that suddenly turning around

and smelling my rear end can

quickly clear a room.

The cat is not a squeaky toy;

so when I play with him

and he makes that noise,

it's usually not a good thing.